Reflection Paper – Wagner Self Concept

What is Self-concept? According to Wagner, self-concept is that image or mental picture of our invisible self, a impression of be a person, sense of somebody or of cosmos nobody (p. 5). There be triplet functional aspects of self concept appearance, proceeding and status. It is noneworthy that our feeling of identity of being somebody is derived from feelings when rated by others (p. 13). I could identify with these three aspects of self-concept. Several years ago, when I left my job to be a stay home mum, I struggled with redefining my self-concept.What am I? Why is Self-concept fundamental? While I subsequently put together my significance in Christ, I am further enlightened by Wagners discussion on of self-concept and its importance. An equal self-concept is a precious possession that enable one outlast a useful and productive life, he is unrestrainedly secure and functions from inner re originations in a crisis. He accepts his appearance and views his shortcomings as problems to be outgo and not judge himself as a bad person. He functions because he knows he is and not always trying to be move into.A person with inadequate self-concept tends to sharpen his energy and efforts to establish his self-identity, to measure up, his mind is divided into coping with his rectifying this want and normal living (p. x, 15) What Make Up Self-concept? Wagner paints a picture characterisation the cycle of how inadequate self-concept is developed. The feelings of belonging, worthiness and competence form the essential elements of self-concept, they mix together like musical chords (p. 17). When ones sense of being somebody is threatened, he reacts negatively with hostility, guilt or fear.When he tries to tweet the situation to adjustment finished his hostility, he loses his sense of belonging. When he forces himself to change because he is feeling guilty, he compromises his worthiness. In fear or apprehension tries to protect himself from the threat, h is competence is lost. The elements of self-concept are all weakened and emotional hazard increases and these negatives reactions block empathy and he cannot sense make do or show sack out. so in attempting to correct the threat, his hostility, guilt and fears interfere with the remedy (p. 28).This is very informative to me, it enables me to have a upright understanding of the causes and effects of emotions in self-concept, which is so crucial if I get out be a counselor in future. How did Self-concept come from? Wagner believed that ones self-concept is accumulated from memories from the day he is born, from base compulsion of feeding, teething and toilet training and later discipline. The needs and emotions of these ontogeny up activities all affected his emotions of belonging, worthiness, and competence and ultimately his sense of being somebody or nobody.If he is raised with love and correct discipline, these advantageous influences will develop in good self-concept. H owever if his critical emotional needs are not met, the child is often angry and manipulative of his parents and parental love is given conditional on his performance, the child will develop an inadequate self-concept. While I am no clever in this area, I had some reservations about this. Childhood experiences while in-chief(postnominal) cannot be the sole contri stillory factor in development of self-concept. in any case oftentimes blame is apportioned to ineffective parenting.Many of our parents love are not ideal and somewhat lacking. In the sixties where I grew up, economies were bad, families were large. Parents spend much of their time stressed out trying to put food on the table. Love if existent was non expressive and unfelt. Disciplines were strict and severe. But a entirely generation has grown into adults many are well adjusted individuals with adequate self concept and functioning properly. My personal opinion is that, what is past is passed in that respect is no point in examining too much what happened during childhood.We should instead charge on remedy and healing and what can be done. Having said that, I would agree with Wagner that love for our children must not be conditional upon his performance or behavior. As far as possible we must love our children with an unrelenting and voluntary love (p. 47). In disciplining our children, care must be taken not to do so in anger or humiliate him. We must not be overly strict but allow the child space to explore and experiment (p. 63). What Self-concept is not phoney Security and Self Verification False security is caused by repression of throwaway(prenominal) feelings and keeping hese out of awareness, when hostility, guilt and fear is repressed, insecurities developed. When the nobody is repressed, the person proves to himself through his appearance, performance or status that he is not a nobody. This edge is called self-verification and relate to three basic desires being wanted (belongi ng), being good (worthiness) and being adequate (competence) (pp. 95- 96). Self verification gives temporary feelings of being somebody, but the need for this process keep recurring, therefore it is self-perpetuating.I felt that this is good acuteness why insecure people worked so hard to look good, and to succeed. unluckily self verifications do not work, as evidenced by world power Solomons conclusion in Ecclesiastes 12 nonmeaningful Meaningless . . . Utterly meaningless Everything is meaningless Many people climb those ladders to success, moreover to discover when they reach the top that they are leaning against the wrong skirt The only identity equation that works is me +GOD = ME. What is secure self-concept? strong self-concept must be based on unconditional love which is found only in matinee idols love. theology is the only reliable source of true love as graven image is love (1 John48). divinity loves us because we are somebody to Him. We have intrinsic value. He d id not love us because we love Him, His love cannot be manipulated, He is someone in authority who is always honest and fair and does not hide the rightfulness about us (p. 104). When we come to God in faith we come into a relationship with him, we are firstly justified and healed with a restored sense of being somebody, a sense of awareness as a whole person which in turn give have desire in God and incite obedience to God (pp. 10-113). However, we still need to grow in our ability to move from relatives to absolutes are as God is holy and good (absolutes) and overcome self-verification. This means that we can accept ourselves as being bad, a nobody because God can accept us in so doing, we are free to move towards being godly, applying ourselves to do Gods will (p. 129). This is so liberating and refreshing. Wagner said that in relating to God as a Father who accepts us as we are, validates our sense of belonging. God is pleased to acknowledge us as sons (Rom 815-17).In relatin g to Jesus, our sins are forgiven, there is no more guilt and condemnations, our worthiness are validated. In relating to the Holy Spirit, we are comforted and enabled therefore competent. These thoughts are indeed very re-affirming and reassuring. What beside? In coming to faith, our self concept is settled, this allows us to love God and others as commanded in Matthew 2237-39. We may be faced with out or keeping(p) situations that threaten our sense of being somebody. We therefore need to grow in our Christian life through reading Gods Word, orison and fellowship with other Christians.